Someone posted a youtube on twitter of an asshole abandoning his dog, all of my nightmares start when a video I saw on TV thirty years ago of an asshole abandoning his dog plays in my head, and then I saw an article with photo of a fat asshole gloating over a slain elephant, this was Saturday past, I'm still sideways, seething, and just now vegan twitter linked to an account supposedly belonging to an organic dog meat company that declared one can love dogs and eat them too, motherfucking humans
I seethe, constantly, today have a meeting with the single most annoying human in the Library, will I have a job tomorrow, of course I will have a job tomorrow, I know not to blurt what I'm thinking when I'm seething, not blurting just makes me seethe more
This the torso of my second full-body self-portrait glued to the back of and upside-down from the first, was painted Friday when I was just furious but not seething, I was seething when I painted the first
SELF-PORTRAIT
Robert Creeley
He wants to be
a brutal old man,
an aggressive old man,
as dull, as brutal
as the emptiness around him,
He doesn’t want compromise,
nor to be ever nice
to anyone. Just mean,
and final in his brutal,
his total, rejection of it all.
He tried the sweet,
the gentle, the “oh,
let’s hold hands together”
and it was awful,
dull, brutally inconsequential.
Now he’ll stand on
his own dwindling legs.
His arms, his skin,
shrink daily. And
he loves, but hates equally.
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